Suami dan Isteri..
Saya mencari sesuatu dalam internet, mencari perkataan yang sesuai untuk buku perkahwinan yang sedang saya tulis. Tiba2 saya terjumpa kisah ini dan ia sangat meyentuh hati saya..
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Di sebuah pasaraya seorang suami bertengkar dgn isterinya dan menyuruh
isterinya pergi masuk ke dlm pasaraya sementara dia duduk di bangku
tidak ikut sama...ia diperhatikan oleh seorang pakcik yg dlm umur 60'an.
Pakcik itu menghampiri suami tadi sambil bertanya:"Apa masaalah ni nk
marah2 pd isteri, maaf pakcik bertanya".
"Tkde apa pakcik. Isteri sy ni ajak masuk dlm pasaraya ikut dia cari2
barang. Sy malas la pakcik letih dan bosan la dgn perangai org pompuan
ni". Pakcik tu tersenyum sambil berkata: " Nak pakcik dulu dgn isteri
pakcik pegi kemana2 berdua. Tapi isteri pakcik baru 5 bulan meninggal.
Kami lebih kurang sebaya. Kami guru. Bila bersara kami ke Mekah bersama.
Kami tinggal berdua di rumah sb anak2 kami 6 org semua dah kawin
tinggal di rumah masing2. Isteri pakcik malangnya mengidap kencing manis
dan darah tinggi. Tiap2 hari kena makan ubat. Dia selalu tk berapa
cergas dan pakcik la yg menjaganya.
Kini dia telah tiada pakcik terasa amat keseorangan. Siang pakcik rasa
terlalu panjang dan malam terlalu sunyi. Tiap2 satu benda kepunyaan
arwah mengingatkan pakcik pd nya. Sebak dan sedih melihat ubat2 yg masih
belum dimakannya.
Ada nombor handphone dia tpi pakcik tau dia tidak akan jawab panggilan
pakcik dan message whatsapp kpdnya pun dia tkkan baca...dulu pakcik
tidur dikatil disebelah bahagian sb dia ada disebelah...tpi skrg pakcik
tidur sorang2 di tengah2 katil...bila ke dapur skrg pakcik sorang2 buat
sarapan tiada dia lg menyediakannya...tiada lg kami ke surau
bersama...bayangkan nak..kami punyai sorang satu kereta skrg kereta dia
kaku tak bergerak cuma sesekali pakcik pandu..oleh itu nak sementara
isteri anak masih ada hargai la dia dan sayangi la dia...kita hidup
sementara di dunia ini...pakcik hari2 ke pusaranya dan pakcik selalu
berkata di pusaranya...."kau pegi la dulu abg akan ikut kemudian..."
Maaf pakcik balik dulu" Si suami terpegun terus bangun masuk ke pasaraya mencari isterinya.
Memaparkan catatan dengan label Tazkirah. Papar semua catatan
Memaparkan catatan dengan label Tazkirah. Papar semua catatan
Selasa, 10 Januari 2017
Rabu, 17 Ogos 2016
Jumaat, 12 Ogos 2016
Pokemon Go
Pokemon Go
Ramai orang bermain pokemon Go.. tangkap pokemon kat mana-mana yang dijumpai. Ada yang jumpa dalam rumah, ada jumpa atas bumbung, ada jumpa atas jalan raya dan merata-rata.... Macam meriah jer main tu...
Tibe-tiba timbul Dr Zul al-Bakri Mufti Wilayah bagi pendapat mengataan ia tak elok, hendaklah dijauhi, menimbulkan mudarat dan lain-lain. Ramai yang membantah dan mengatakan Ustaz Zul ni rigid sangat..Akhbat-akhbar melaporkan Dr Zul kata main tu haram. Jadi marahlah peminat game ini...
Kemudian Dr Zul buat penjelasan, dia tidak sebut haram, dia sebut elok dijauhi, tidak bawa manfaat dan sebagainya..
Sebenarnya asalnya memanglah harus. main apa2 game yang tidak berlawan dengan Syariah semuanya harus. Tapi bila berlebih-lebihan, banyak masa terbuang, jadi ketaguh, lupa buat benda lain, asyik main main main... maka yang harus boleh bertukar kepada makruh dan buleh bertukar kepada haram dengan melihat keseriusan impak benda tersebut.
Bila baca di USA, ada accidentlanggar pokok sebab sibuk nak tangkap pokemon, ada yang terjun dalam sungai nak tangkap pokemon,maka apa maknanya tu...
Orang dah tak perasan apa berlaku disekitar,lintas jalan tapi otak tak berada di jalan, tapi berada di sekitar jalan nak cari pokemon... maka ia sesungguhnya menimbulkan banyak mudarat..Bahkan mencari pokemon juga bukan jadi bermain lagi... tapi jadi hati jahat sebab nak dapat kuasa dan nak lawan dengan orang lain... Ia merosakkan jiwa.. Tujuan bermain adalah untuk relax otak, bukan jadi lebih parah.. dan jadi lebih jahat jiwa sebab nak jadi power power dan lebih power....
Saya setuju jika ia membawa banyak bahaya, hilang jati diri insan, semua jadi lupa diri maka mainan itu menjadi sangat tidak elok dan berubah menjadi haram hukumnya ke atas kita....
Ramai orang bermain pokemon Go.. tangkap pokemon kat mana-mana yang dijumpai. Ada yang jumpa dalam rumah, ada jumpa atas bumbung, ada jumpa atas jalan raya dan merata-rata.... Macam meriah jer main tu...
Tibe-tiba timbul Dr Zul al-Bakri Mufti Wilayah bagi pendapat mengataan ia tak elok, hendaklah dijauhi, menimbulkan mudarat dan lain-lain. Ramai yang membantah dan mengatakan Ustaz Zul ni rigid sangat..Akhbat-akhbar melaporkan Dr Zul kata main tu haram. Jadi marahlah peminat game ini...
Kemudian Dr Zul buat penjelasan, dia tidak sebut haram, dia sebut elok dijauhi, tidak bawa manfaat dan sebagainya..
Sebenarnya asalnya memanglah harus. main apa2 game yang tidak berlawan dengan Syariah semuanya harus. Tapi bila berlebih-lebihan, banyak masa terbuang, jadi ketaguh, lupa buat benda lain, asyik main main main... maka yang harus boleh bertukar kepada makruh dan buleh bertukar kepada haram dengan melihat keseriusan impak benda tersebut.
Bila baca di USA, ada accidentlanggar pokok sebab sibuk nak tangkap pokemon, ada yang terjun dalam sungai nak tangkap pokemon,maka apa maknanya tu...
Orang dah tak perasan apa berlaku disekitar,lintas jalan tapi otak tak berada di jalan, tapi berada di sekitar jalan nak cari pokemon... maka ia sesungguhnya menimbulkan banyak mudarat..Bahkan mencari pokemon juga bukan jadi bermain lagi... tapi jadi hati jahat sebab nak dapat kuasa dan nak lawan dengan orang lain... Ia merosakkan jiwa.. Tujuan bermain adalah untuk relax otak, bukan jadi lebih parah.. dan jadi lebih jahat jiwa sebab nak jadi power power dan lebih power....
Saya setuju jika ia membawa banyak bahaya, hilang jati diri insan, semua jadi lupa diri maka mainan itu menjadi sangat tidak elok dan berubah menjadi haram hukumnya ke atas kita....
Ahad, 28 Februari 2016
Kun ANta
Kun Anta..
Lagu ni menarik.
Jadilah kita orang yang baik..
Baik kerana kita ingin menjadi baik.
Bukan kerana orang lain supaya disayangi atau dilihat orang.
Jadilah kita orang yang baik kerana ALlah.
Kerana Dia yang suruh kita menjadi baik,
dan kerana Dia yang ingin melihat di antara hamba-hambaNya siapakah yang paling baik amalnya.
Semoga kita menjadi diri kita yang sebenar,
yang baik dan amat baik.. ameen
Nasyid Kun Anta akan diupload soon
Lagu ni menarik.
Jadilah kita orang yang baik..
Baik kerana kita ingin menjadi baik.
Bukan kerana orang lain supaya disayangi atau dilihat orang.
Jadilah kita orang yang baik kerana ALlah.
Kerana Dia yang suruh kita menjadi baik,
dan kerana Dia yang ingin melihat di antara hamba-hambaNya siapakah yang paling baik amalnya.
Semoga kita menjadi diri kita yang sebenar,
yang baik dan amat baik.. ameen
Nasyid Kun Anta akan diupload soon
Khamis, 31 Disember 2015
Allah bersama kita..
Masalah...
Semua orang ada masalah. ia adalah cabaran dalam melalui hari-hari di dunia ini. Ia adalah ujian-test-exam yang dibentangkan di hadapan kita.
Justeru, orang yang bijak, dan ingin terus menjadi bijak tidaka kan mengundur diri dari melalui cabaran dan masalah.
jalanlah terus.. kerana kita hanya melalui satu fasa dalam kehidupan kita yangs emuanya dalam aturan dan pengetahuan Allah.
Apabila kita rasa resah, sedih dan berduka.. ingatlah Inna Allaha maana...
Sesuangguhnya Allah bersama kita..
Semua orang ada masalah. ia adalah cabaran dalam melalui hari-hari di dunia ini. Ia adalah ujian-test-exam yang dibentangkan di hadapan kita.
Justeru, orang yang bijak, dan ingin terus menjadi bijak tidaka kan mengundur diri dari melalui cabaran dan masalah.
jalanlah terus.. kerana kita hanya melalui satu fasa dalam kehidupan kita yangs emuanya dalam aturan dan pengetahuan Allah.
Apabila kita rasa resah, sedih dan berduka.. ingatlah Inna Allaha maana...
Sesuangguhnya Allah bersama kita..
Selasa, 7 Julai 2015
Busy ke Produktif??
Busy ke Produktif???
Baca artikel ni membuatkan saya pun terduduk.. :-)
Saya ni busy ke produktif?
Entahlah.. Banyak sangat dalam kepala nak buat dan kena buat sehingga saya kadang2 rasa pening..
Saya ingin jadi produktif.. bukan semata2 sibuk tapi berkesan dan produktif..
Artikel di bawah sangat baik .. bagi sayalah..
Jom baca...
11 Differences Between Busy People And Productive People Productivity
by Conor Neill
I spent a day with the world’s number one ultraman Kilian Jornet back in 2010. He told me about the difference between his life in the mountains and the life he sees in the city. Kilian spends most of his life in the mountains. He will run up and down Everest next year. He has already run up and down Kilimanjaro, Aconcagua, Montblanc and Cervino (setting the record for the fastest ascent on each). He says that he knows his destination, but is often doubtful about the exact path – he is very aware of surroundings, of changes in the weather, of loose rocks.
He is constantly adjusting his path. He told me that a few times a year he arrives into the city of Barcelona in his campervan. He parks. He gets out. He sees people walking confidently up and down the street. Everyone is walking with such confidence. They look so sure in their intention. They are sure of their steps… but they have no idea where they are going.
This is one of the differences between busy people and productive people.
Read on to find out what this difference is and to get to know 10 more differences.
1. Busy people want to look like they have a mission. Productive people have a mission for their lives. Busy people hide their doubt about the destination of their lives by acting confident in their little steps. Productive people allow others to see the doubt in their little steps because they are clear on the destination.
2. Busy people have many priorities. Productive people have few priorities Nobody is ever too busy, if they care they will make time. Life is a question of priorities. If you have 3 priorities, you have priorities. If you have 25 priorities, you have a mess. busy The pareto priniciple is that 80% of your desired results come from 20% of your activity. Henry Ford built a fortune not by building better cars, but by building a better system for making cars. Busy people try to make better cars, productive people develop better systems for making cars.
3. Busy people say yes quickly. Productive people say yes slowly Warren Buffet’s definition of integrity is: “You say no to most things”. If you don’t say “no” to most things, you are diving your life up into millions of little pieces spread out amongst other people’s priorities. Integrity is that your values are clear and that your time is going to serve those values.
4. Busy people focus on action. Productive people focus on clarity before action To focus on the top 20% of activities, you must gain clarity about what those activities are for yourself. The greatest resource you will ever have to guide you to live a good life is your own personal experience – if well documented. Sadly, most people only document their life in facebook status updates. Keep a diary and take 5 minutes every day to reflect on the past day, on what worked, on what didn’t work; and some time on what inspires you.
5. Busy people keep all doors open. Productive people close doors As a young person it is good to open options. It is good to want to travel, to learn languages, to climb mountains, to go to university, to work in tech, to live in another country. However, there comes a point in life where one must let go of most options and focus. If my goal this year is to learn spanish – I will speak spanish at the end of the year. If my goal this year is to speak spanish, earn 30% more, travel to 10 countries, get fit, find a girlfriend, go to all the concerts… I will not speak spanish at the end of this year.
6. Busy people talk about how busy they are. Productive people let their results do the talking Stephen King says: “A writer is a producer of words. Produce words: you are a writer. Don’t produce words: you are not a writer”. It is a clear binary thing. Talking about writing is not writing. Published authors don’t talk about their next book – they are focussed on producing it. I have grown to have less and less interest in what people tell me that they are going to do – I ask them what they have already done. Past performance is the only good indicator of future performance. Feeling productive is not the same as being productive. This is important. I can feel productive while I’m playing minecraft. I can feel unproductive while I’m producing an excellent blog post that will help others take better actions.
7. Busy people talk about how little time they have. Productive people make time for what is important Any time we spend on excuses is time not spent on creation. If you allow yourself to practice excuses, you will get better and better at excuses. Productive people don’t use time as an excuse. An action either supports their highest values and mission, or it does not. If it does not, they don’t do it – even if they have a whole day off. There is an Irish saying: “It is better to do something than nothing”. This is a lie! It is better to do nothing than to do an action that doesn’t connect with your highest values. Sit still.
8. Busy people multitask. Productive people focus Productive people know about focus. Do you know about the Pomodoro technique? It is brutal, but it is effective. Identify a task to be done (for instance, write this blog post). Set a timer to 20 minutes. Work on the task until the time sounds. Any distraction (I must check email, I must get some water, I must go to the bathroom) and you reset the timer to 20. How many pomodoros can you complete in a day?
9. Busy people respond quickly to emails. Productive people take their time Email is a handy list of priorities. The problem: they are other people’s priorities, not yours. If you respond to every email, you are dividing up your life into a thousand tiny bits that serve other people’s priorities. There are 3 choices when you first review your email inbox: Delete, Do, Defer. This is not a post on email management, here are a few on managing email overload from Gigaom, Harvard Business Review, Entrepreneur.
10. Busy people want other people to be busy. Productive people want others to be effective Busy managers measure hours of activity, productive managers measure output. Busy managers are frustrated by others looking relaxed, looking like they have time, looking like they are enjoying their work. Productive managers love seeing others enjoy their work, love creating an environment in which others can excel. Busy people are frustrated. They want to be valued for their effort, not for their results. There is a Hindu saying: “We have a right to our labour, not to the fruits of our labour”. We have a right to enjoy being excellent at our work, not a right to enjoy the car, the house, the money that comes from doing good work. Productivity is about valuing the journey towards excellence, not any moment of activity.
11. Busy people talk about how they will change. Productive people are making those changes. Kilian Jornet doesn’t spend much time talking about what he will do. He talks about what he has done, what he has learnt, what inspires him. Spend less time talking about what you will do and dedicate that time to creating the first step. What can you do now that requires the approval of nobody else? What can you do with the resources, knowledge and support that you have now? Do that. It is amazing how the universe rewards the person who stops talking and begins. We are born with incredible potential. At the age of 20, the best compliment that can be paid is that you have a lot of potential. At the age of 30, it is still ok. At 40, you have a lot of potential is becoming an insult. At 60, telling someone that they have a lot of potential is probably the cruelest insult that can be made about their life. Don’t let your potential go to waste. Create something amazing. This is its own reward.
--------------------------
Baca artikel ni membuatkan saya pun terduduk.. :-)
Saya ni busy ke produktif?
Entahlah.. Banyak sangat dalam kepala nak buat dan kena buat sehingga saya kadang2 rasa pening..
Saya ingin jadi produktif.. bukan semata2 sibuk tapi berkesan dan produktif..
Artikel di bawah sangat baik .. bagi sayalah..
Jom baca...
11 Differences Between Busy People And Productive People Productivity
by Conor Neill
I spent a day with the world’s number one ultraman Kilian Jornet back in 2010. He told me about the difference between his life in the mountains and the life he sees in the city. Kilian spends most of his life in the mountains. He will run up and down Everest next year. He has already run up and down Kilimanjaro, Aconcagua, Montblanc and Cervino (setting the record for the fastest ascent on each). He says that he knows his destination, but is often doubtful about the exact path – he is very aware of surroundings, of changes in the weather, of loose rocks.
He is constantly adjusting his path. He told me that a few times a year he arrives into the city of Barcelona in his campervan. He parks. He gets out. He sees people walking confidently up and down the street. Everyone is walking with such confidence. They look so sure in their intention. They are sure of their steps… but they have no idea where they are going.
This is one of the differences between busy people and productive people.
Read on to find out what this difference is and to get to know 10 more differences.
1. Busy people want to look like they have a mission. Productive people have a mission for their lives. Busy people hide their doubt about the destination of their lives by acting confident in their little steps. Productive people allow others to see the doubt in their little steps because they are clear on the destination.
2. Busy people have many priorities. Productive people have few priorities Nobody is ever too busy, if they care they will make time. Life is a question of priorities. If you have 3 priorities, you have priorities. If you have 25 priorities, you have a mess. busy The pareto priniciple is that 80% of your desired results come from 20% of your activity. Henry Ford built a fortune not by building better cars, but by building a better system for making cars. Busy people try to make better cars, productive people develop better systems for making cars.
3. Busy people say yes quickly. Productive people say yes slowly Warren Buffet’s definition of integrity is: “You say no to most things”. If you don’t say “no” to most things, you are diving your life up into millions of little pieces spread out amongst other people’s priorities. Integrity is that your values are clear and that your time is going to serve those values.
4. Busy people focus on action. Productive people focus on clarity before action To focus on the top 20% of activities, you must gain clarity about what those activities are for yourself. The greatest resource you will ever have to guide you to live a good life is your own personal experience – if well documented. Sadly, most people only document their life in facebook status updates. Keep a diary and take 5 minutes every day to reflect on the past day, on what worked, on what didn’t work; and some time on what inspires you.
5. Busy people keep all doors open. Productive people close doors As a young person it is good to open options. It is good to want to travel, to learn languages, to climb mountains, to go to university, to work in tech, to live in another country. However, there comes a point in life where one must let go of most options and focus. If my goal this year is to learn spanish – I will speak spanish at the end of the year. If my goal this year is to speak spanish, earn 30% more, travel to 10 countries, get fit, find a girlfriend, go to all the concerts… I will not speak spanish at the end of this year.
6. Busy people talk about how busy they are. Productive people let their results do the talking Stephen King says: “A writer is a producer of words. Produce words: you are a writer. Don’t produce words: you are not a writer”. It is a clear binary thing. Talking about writing is not writing. Published authors don’t talk about their next book – they are focussed on producing it. I have grown to have less and less interest in what people tell me that they are going to do – I ask them what they have already done. Past performance is the only good indicator of future performance. Feeling productive is not the same as being productive. This is important. I can feel productive while I’m playing minecraft. I can feel unproductive while I’m producing an excellent blog post that will help others take better actions.
7. Busy people talk about how little time they have. Productive people make time for what is important Any time we spend on excuses is time not spent on creation. If you allow yourself to practice excuses, you will get better and better at excuses. Productive people don’t use time as an excuse. An action either supports their highest values and mission, or it does not. If it does not, they don’t do it – even if they have a whole day off. There is an Irish saying: “It is better to do something than nothing”. This is a lie! It is better to do nothing than to do an action that doesn’t connect with your highest values. Sit still.
8. Busy people multitask. Productive people focus Productive people know about focus. Do you know about the Pomodoro technique? It is brutal, but it is effective. Identify a task to be done (for instance, write this blog post). Set a timer to 20 minutes. Work on the task until the time sounds. Any distraction (I must check email, I must get some water, I must go to the bathroom) and you reset the timer to 20. How many pomodoros can you complete in a day?
9. Busy people respond quickly to emails. Productive people take their time Email is a handy list of priorities. The problem: they are other people’s priorities, not yours. If you respond to every email, you are dividing up your life into a thousand tiny bits that serve other people’s priorities. There are 3 choices when you first review your email inbox: Delete, Do, Defer. This is not a post on email management, here are a few on managing email overload from Gigaom, Harvard Business Review, Entrepreneur.
10. Busy people want other people to be busy. Productive people want others to be effective Busy managers measure hours of activity, productive managers measure output. Busy managers are frustrated by others looking relaxed, looking like they have time, looking like they are enjoying their work. Productive managers love seeing others enjoy their work, love creating an environment in which others can excel. Busy people are frustrated. They want to be valued for their effort, not for their results. There is a Hindu saying: “We have a right to our labour, not to the fruits of our labour”. We have a right to enjoy being excellent at our work, not a right to enjoy the car, the house, the money that comes from doing good work. Productivity is about valuing the journey towards excellence, not any moment of activity.
11. Busy people talk about how they will change. Productive people are making those changes. Kilian Jornet doesn’t spend much time talking about what he will do. He talks about what he has done, what he has learnt, what inspires him. Spend less time talking about what you will do and dedicate that time to creating the first step. What can you do now that requires the approval of nobody else? What can you do with the resources, knowledge and support that you have now? Do that. It is amazing how the universe rewards the person who stops talking and begins. We are born with incredible potential. At the age of 20, the best compliment that can be paid is that you have a lot of potential. At the age of 30, it is still ok. At 40, you have a lot of potential is becoming an insult. At 60, telling someone that they have a lot of potential is probably the cruelest insult that can be made about their life. Don’t let your potential go to waste. Create something amazing. This is its own reward.
--------------------------
Rabu, 24 Jun 2015
Pause and Reflect About Our Marriage
Mari kita duduk sejenak dan berfikir.. ...
mari kita baca ni.. sangat bermanfaat pada saya..
Jika ada antaranya.. bersyukurlah kita kerana diizinkan merasai nikmat bahagia.
Alhamdulillah...
mari kita baca ni.. sangat bermanfaat pada saya..
Jika ada antaranya.. bersyukurlah kita kerana diizinkan merasai nikmat bahagia.
Alhamdulillah...
10 Signs You Have A Great Husband
Belajar Didik Anak
Anak..
Marilah baca.. ia sungguh bermnafaat..
Marilah baca.. ia sungguh bermnafaat..
How to respond when your child is disrespectful
Disrespect is a common problem for many children. Here are seven ways you can deal with the problem.
- The playdate is over. It is time to head home. You gave a 5 minute warning. You expect everything to go well.Suddenly, it happens. Your child responds disrespectfully."No! I don't want to go! You never let me do anything fun!"You feel the anger rising inside you. You yell back, "How dare you talk to me like that!"He continues, "You didn't even send me a treat in my lunch today! You are the meanest mom ever!!!"Now, you're furious. "That's it! No TV for a week!"This back and forth continues. You drag him to the car, kicking and screaming. Vowing never to let him have a playdate ever again.
Disrespect Is Not OK
Disrespectful communication is a problem for many kids. We definitely need to teach our children how to treat others with kindness and respect, and how to communicate big feelings without being disrespectful.Unfortunately, we cannot teach them to be respectful in the heat of the moment.I know you WANT to deal with it right then and there. I know you HATE being disrespected. But, once your child is angry, the thinking part of their brain has shut down. They are in survival mode, sometimes called, "flight or fight" mode.Plus, we cannot teach our kids to be respectful by treating them with disrespect.If you are triggered by their disrespectful behavior, your brain goes into survival mode too. You are not able to think rationally. Your responses will either be filled with anger, yelling and punishment or you will shut down and give up.Is There Another Way to Deal with Disrespect?
If you feel pressured to punish or yell at your child in the moment, I would encourage you to try one or more of these 7 responses:1. Stay calm
Does this seem impossible? It's not easy to keep cool when our kids are being rude. Meeting them with disrespect sends the wrong message. Model good self-care by taking a deep breath, counting to 20 or repeating a mantra: "This is not an emergency."2. Decode the Behavior
Look at things from your child's perspective. Were they caught off guard? Is what you're asking inconvenient? Do they feel powerless? Their response is a reflection of what they are feeling inside. Unfortunately, at this point, they can't put it into more appropriate words.3. Empathize
Help your child understand their own feelings by offering an empathetic response, "It seems unfair that we have to go already!" or "I know it's hard to leave when you're having such a fun time!" You do not have to agree with the feeling, it simply means that you are trying to relate to their experience.4. Check the Time
Some kids are affected by low blood sugar, hunger or thirst. Others are very sensitive to environmental stimulation or not getting enough sleep. Has it been awhile since your child ate? Could they use a sip of water? Or a break from a loud environment? Offer it in a non-threatening way, "I'm going to have a cracker, would you like one too?"5. Slow It Down
It's easy to get pulled away with the "runaway train" of angry, frustrated words and emotions. Instead of jumping on board and responding to every criticism or complaint your child throws at you, try to put on the brakes, "Whoa! That's a lot of info. I'd like to listen, but you're talking too fast. Let's calm down so I can understand what you're trying to say."6. Let it Go
Sometimes it's best not to give a response, especially if you know your child is hungry or tired and talking out of a "survival mode" brain – or if you can't keep yourself from responding in a sarcastic, angry or disrespectful way. You don't have to ignore it forever. Once everyone is calm, you can talk about what happened and how to do it differently next time.7. Connect
If your child is misbehaving, the last thing on your mind is cuddling. However, for many kids, connection is exactly what they need! If you are able to look past the behavior and ignore all of the "runaway train" information, you will be able to see that your child is hurting and needs support. Sometimes, a hug is better than any verbal response.Do the Teaching Later
Waiting or delaying your response does not mean that you are a passive parent or you're saying that disrespect is OK. It means that you are waiting until your brain, and your child's brain, is able to receive information and move on without being rude, angry or disrespectful.- When you're ready to talk, you can start with, "It seems like you were upset about leaving the playdate earlier. Can we think of a different way to tell me how you feel?"
- You can also address some of the things that were said, "I heard you say something about snacks in your lunch. Is this something you want to talk about now?"
- You have feelings too! It's OK to express them, and let you child know how their words affect you. Be careful not to point the finger back at your child, keep the focus on how it felt to you. "I felt hurt when you said I was the meanest mom ever."
- If you lost your cool and said angry words in the heat of the moment, it's OK to admit it. You are not perfect, and it is good for your kids to see that you are working on calming skills too!This is when the teaching happens. Calm brains can learn information. They can process and practice new skills. Your child can learn how to manage big feelings and respond more respectfully next time.
Editor's note: This article was originally published on Nicole Schwarz's blog. It has been republished here with permission.
Khamis, 30 April 2015
Kanak-kanak... Kisah Sedih Mereka
Bila dapat adik...Layanan Si Ibu...
Mengalir air mata saya membaca tulisan seorang ibu dalam fb yang dilike oleh kawan saya. Ia berkenaan seorang ibu yang telah tersilap memberi layanan berbeza kepada anaknya..
Saya copy disini dan dicite daripada blog mana..
Bagi yang mendapat anak.. dan lebih dari satu, berusahalah jangan beri layanan berbeza.. dan marilah kita berusaha untuk memberi masa dan fokus yang tidak nampak adil kepada semua anak-anak yang ada.. Insya Allah..
Bagi ibu bapa bekerja.. kita bekerja untuk memberi kehidupan lebih baik kepada anak-anak.. tetapi kita menghilangkan apa yang paling penting.. iaitu masa gembira dengan anak-anak..
Semoga kisah ini membuka mata kita semua..
-------------------
Jika penulis terbaca yang saya copy paste di sini, saya ucapkan terima kasih..
Mengalir air mata saya membaca tulisan seorang ibu dalam fb yang dilike oleh kawan saya. Ia berkenaan seorang ibu yang telah tersilap memberi layanan berbeza kepada anaknya..
Saya copy disini dan dicite daripada blog mana..
Bagi yang mendapat anak.. dan lebih dari satu, berusahalah jangan beri layanan berbeza.. dan marilah kita berusaha untuk memberi masa dan fokus yang tidak nampak adil kepada semua anak-anak yang ada.. Insya Allah..
Bagi ibu bapa bekerja.. kita bekerja untuk memberi kehidupan lebih baik kepada anak-anak.. tetapi kita menghilangkan apa yang paling penting.. iaitu masa gembira dengan anak-anak..
Semoga kisah ini membuka mata kita semua..
-------------------
Jika penulis terbaca yang saya copy paste di sini, saya ucapkan terima kasih..
KISAH yang membuat saya menangis.....
Saya mempunyai 3 orang anak. Dua perempuan satu lelaki. Yang sulung, kakak, berusia tujuh tahun. Yang kedua abang, 4 tahun dan yang bongsu, adik perempuan berusia 1 tahun 6 bulan. Ketiga-tiga mereka ini boleh dikatakan anak yang soleh dan solehah. Cuma si kakak ni, sering membuatkan sayang pening kepala.
Tak dinafikan, kakak memang seorang budak yang pandai. Dia seorang yang fast learner. Seawal umur 5 tahun dia dah pandai mengeja dan membaca. Dan dia juga seorang yang petah berkata-kata. Apa yang membuatkan saya sering 'bergaduh' dengan dia adalah kerana dia sukar mendengar kata. Dia akan cuba mengambil perhatian saya walaupun berulang kali saya memberitahunya yang saya penat bekerja.
Ya. Saya dan suami semuanya bekerjaya. Jadi, anak-anak, kami akan hantar pada pengasuh bila kami beransur ke office masing-masing.
Pernah suatu hari, ketika saya dah pulang lewat petang, saya pergi mengambil mereka bertiga. Masa tu, suami outstation. Terpaksalah saya seorang berhempas pulas mengendalikan mereka.
Ketika si adik bongsu ni menangis meminta susu, si kakak sibuk ingin bercerita perihal dirinya ketika di sekolah. Dia ingin menunjukkan hasil lukisannya yang cikgu bagi markah A. Tapi, perhatian tu sekejap je saya berikan untukknya disebabkan saya tak boleh nak fokus, kerana si adik ni dah bising menangis kelaparan. Tak semena, dengan badan yang letih, otak yang dah penat.. Saya memarahi kakak
"Kakak tau tak.. Mama penat tau!! Dengan adik menangis, kakak sibuk nak bercerita!! Boleh tak kakak ke depan, main macam Abang ngah, tak kacau mama!!" Jerit saya
Dia diam lalu membawa diri ke hadapan. Mulai dari hari itu, saya perasan kakak dah kurang mengganggu saya ketika saya keletihan. Saya rasa mungkin dia faham keadaan saya yang memerlukan masa untuk berehat dengan aman.
Hinggalah pada suatu hari, pada malam hari minggu, saya menyemak beg sekolah kakak. Dalam pada membelek-belek buku latihannya.. Saya terjumpa sebuah buku kecil kulit tebal berwarna pink. Di muka depan buku tersebut dituliskan namanya, kelas dan bertajuk 'Diari Kecil Kakak'
Saya mula membuka lembaran-lembaran kecil buku comel itu. Jika dinisbahkan dengan umur kanak-kanak sebayanya, tulisan kakak amat cantik. Satu persatu perkataan ditulis rapi. Saya kagum. Alhamdulillah, anakku diberi kelebihan itu.
Di muka surat pertama, mata saya tertumpu pada isi kandungannya. Kakak tulis : Isnin 13 Jan 2014- saya berpusing. Saya selak mukasurat sebelah. Selasa 14 Jan 2014 - saya berpusing. Itu saja yang dia tulis. Saya tak faham. Apa yang cuba dia luah dan sampaikan. Sampailah pada 30 Januari, catatannya tetap sama : "saya berpusing". Saya pening.
Keesokkan pagi, setelah selesai sarapan sama-sama, saya luangkan masa bersama. Kali ini saya lebih fokus pada kakak. Kerana saya nak mengorek rahsia diarinya.
Ketika dia sedang leka menulis di dalam diarinya, saya menghampiri diri anak itu.
''Kakak tulis apa tu ?"tanya saya
"Kakak tulis diari mama" jawabnya sambil tersenyum memandang saya
"Apa yang kakak tulis, boleh mama tengok" umpanku memasang strategi
"Boleh. Mama tengoklah"
Tanpa rasa malu, dia menghulurkan diarinya kepada saya. Saya berpura-pura seolah-olah tidak mengetahui apa yang dia dah tulis
"Saya berpusing??" Soal saya lagak kebingungan.
"A ah. Kakak berpusing"
"Macam mana kakak berpusing??"
Dia lantas berdiri dan menunjukkan pada saya macam mana dia berpusing. Abang ngah yang melihat kakak berpusing turut berpusing. Mereka tertawa dan saya tergelak. Puas melihat mereka berpusing saya suruh mereka berhenti. Saya tarik kakak duduk di riba saya dan saya tanya..
" Boleh mama tahu, kenapa kakak berpusing?? "
Dia terdiam. Sesaat kemudian barulah dia bersuara.. Manja..
"Kakak berpusing sebab.. Kakak nak undurkan masa. Kalau boleh kakak nak jadi macam adik. Kakak tengok mama happy sangat bila adik lahir hari tu. Tapi kakak.. Kakak salu buat mama sedih dan tak happy bila bersama kakak. Kakak takut mama tak sayang kakak lagi.."
Belum habis dia menyambung ceritanya, saya dakap dia erat. Saya menangis. Menangis teresak-esak di kepalanya.
Bagaimana boleh saya lupa bahawa saya mempunyai tiga orang anak yang harus diberi perhatian, bukan dua mahupun seorang.
"Maafkan mama kakak. Maafkan mama. Mama bersalah pada kakak. Mama tak sepatutnya buat kakak macam ni. Kakak anak mama. Abang ngah pun anak mama. Adik pun anak mama. Mama sayang anak-anak mama..'' Tersedu-sedu saya dalam berkata. Biarkan. Biarkan saya tersedu. Apa yang saya mahu, saya mahu dia tahu yang saya sayang dia sepertimana saya sayangkan adik-adiknya. Maafkan mama sayang..
copyright : karyawanbisu.blogspot
Saya mempunyai 3 orang anak. Dua perempuan satu lelaki. Yang sulung, kakak, berusia tujuh tahun. Yang kedua abang, 4 tahun dan yang bongsu, adik perempuan berusia 1 tahun 6 bulan. Ketiga-tiga mereka ini boleh dikatakan anak yang soleh dan solehah. Cuma si kakak ni, sering membuatkan sayang pening kepala.
Tak dinafikan, kakak memang seorang budak yang pandai. Dia seorang yang fast learner. Seawal umur 5 tahun dia dah pandai mengeja dan membaca. Dan dia juga seorang yang petah berkata-kata. Apa yang membuatkan saya sering 'bergaduh' dengan dia adalah kerana dia sukar mendengar kata. Dia akan cuba mengambil perhatian saya walaupun berulang kali saya memberitahunya yang saya penat bekerja.
Ya. Saya dan suami semuanya bekerjaya. Jadi, anak-anak, kami akan hantar pada pengasuh bila kami beransur ke office masing-masing.
Pernah suatu hari, ketika saya dah pulang lewat petang, saya pergi mengambil mereka bertiga. Masa tu, suami outstation. Terpaksalah saya seorang berhempas pulas mengendalikan mereka.
Ketika si adik bongsu ni menangis meminta susu, si kakak sibuk ingin bercerita perihal dirinya ketika di sekolah. Dia ingin menunjukkan hasil lukisannya yang cikgu bagi markah A. Tapi, perhatian tu sekejap je saya berikan untukknya disebabkan saya tak boleh nak fokus, kerana si adik ni dah bising menangis kelaparan. Tak semena, dengan badan yang letih, otak yang dah penat.. Saya memarahi kakak
"Kakak tau tak.. Mama penat tau!! Dengan adik menangis, kakak sibuk nak bercerita!! Boleh tak kakak ke depan, main macam Abang ngah, tak kacau mama!!" Jerit saya
Dia diam lalu membawa diri ke hadapan. Mulai dari hari itu, saya perasan kakak dah kurang mengganggu saya ketika saya keletihan. Saya rasa mungkin dia faham keadaan saya yang memerlukan masa untuk berehat dengan aman.
Hinggalah pada suatu hari, pada malam hari minggu, saya menyemak beg sekolah kakak. Dalam pada membelek-belek buku latihannya.. Saya terjumpa sebuah buku kecil kulit tebal berwarna pink. Di muka depan buku tersebut dituliskan namanya, kelas dan bertajuk 'Diari Kecil Kakak'
Saya mula membuka lembaran-lembaran kecil buku comel itu. Jika dinisbahkan dengan umur kanak-kanak sebayanya, tulisan kakak amat cantik. Satu persatu perkataan ditulis rapi. Saya kagum. Alhamdulillah, anakku diberi kelebihan itu.
Di muka surat pertama, mata saya tertumpu pada isi kandungannya. Kakak tulis : Isnin 13 Jan 2014- saya berpusing. Saya selak mukasurat sebelah. Selasa 14 Jan 2014 - saya berpusing. Itu saja yang dia tulis. Saya tak faham. Apa yang cuba dia luah dan sampaikan. Sampailah pada 30 Januari, catatannya tetap sama : "saya berpusing". Saya pening.
Keesokkan pagi, setelah selesai sarapan sama-sama, saya luangkan masa bersama. Kali ini saya lebih fokus pada kakak. Kerana saya nak mengorek rahsia diarinya.
Ketika dia sedang leka menulis di dalam diarinya, saya menghampiri diri anak itu.
''Kakak tulis apa tu ?"tanya saya
"Kakak tulis diari mama" jawabnya sambil tersenyum memandang saya
"Apa yang kakak tulis, boleh mama tengok" umpanku memasang strategi
"Boleh. Mama tengoklah"
Tanpa rasa malu, dia menghulurkan diarinya kepada saya. Saya berpura-pura seolah-olah tidak mengetahui apa yang dia dah tulis
"Saya berpusing??" Soal saya lagak kebingungan.
"A ah. Kakak berpusing"
"Macam mana kakak berpusing??"
Dia lantas berdiri dan menunjukkan pada saya macam mana dia berpusing. Abang ngah yang melihat kakak berpusing turut berpusing. Mereka tertawa dan saya tergelak. Puas melihat mereka berpusing saya suruh mereka berhenti. Saya tarik kakak duduk di riba saya dan saya tanya..
" Boleh mama tahu, kenapa kakak berpusing?? "
Dia terdiam. Sesaat kemudian barulah dia bersuara.. Manja..
"Kakak berpusing sebab.. Kakak nak undurkan masa. Kalau boleh kakak nak jadi macam adik. Kakak tengok mama happy sangat bila adik lahir hari tu. Tapi kakak.. Kakak salu buat mama sedih dan tak happy bila bersama kakak. Kakak takut mama tak sayang kakak lagi.."
Belum habis dia menyambung ceritanya, saya dakap dia erat. Saya menangis. Menangis teresak-esak di kepalanya.
Bagaimana boleh saya lupa bahawa saya mempunyai tiga orang anak yang harus diberi perhatian, bukan dua mahupun seorang.
"Maafkan mama kakak. Maafkan mama. Mama bersalah pada kakak. Mama tak sepatutnya buat kakak macam ni. Kakak anak mama. Abang ngah pun anak mama. Adik pun anak mama. Mama sayang anak-anak mama..'' Tersedu-sedu saya dalam berkata. Biarkan. Biarkan saya tersedu. Apa yang saya mahu, saya mahu dia tahu yang saya sayang dia sepertimana saya sayangkan adik-adiknya. Maafkan mama sayang..
copyright : karyawanbisu.blogspot
Rabu, 14 Januari 2015
Nasyid Best
Nasyid hebat..
Saya menonton majlis Nasyid IKIM di TV al-Hijrah pada 10 Januari 2015 yang lepas.
Saya sangat suka nasyid ini.
Mengimpau perasaan saya yang sayu..
Semoga saya menjadi umat Nabi yang baik..
ameen..
Saya menonton majlis Nasyid IKIM di TV al-Hijrah pada 10 Januari 2015 yang lepas.
Saya sangat suka nasyid ini.
Mengimpau perasaan saya yang sayu..
Semoga saya menjadi umat Nabi yang baik..
ameen..
Jumaat, 16 Mei 2014
Positif...
Menjadi manusia positif
Dalam menjalankan tugasan sebagai hamba ALlah di alam maya, kita perlukan ilmu. Salah satunya adalah ilmu mengawal diri menjadi manusia lebih berkualiti. Ilmu wahyu menjadikan jiwa kita terdidik dan menjadikan kita baik. Ilmu akal menjadikan kita berilmu untuk mentadbir alam ini..
Kita masih perlukan banyak ilmu lagi untuk menjadi hambaNya yang berkualiti....
Contohnya...ilmu motivasi..
Dalam menjalankan tugasan sebagai hamba ALlah di alam maya, kita perlukan ilmu. Salah satunya adalah ilmu mengawal diri menjadi manusia lebih berkualiti. Ilmu wahyu menjadikan jiwa kita terdidik dan menjadikan kita baik. Ilmu akal menjadikan kita berilmu untuk mentadbir alam ini..
Kita masih perlukan banyak ilmu lagi untuk menjadi hambaNya yang berkualiti....
Contohnya...ilmu motivasi..
Rabu, 7 Mei 2014
Hidup kita biarlah banyak memberi
matlamat hidup kita adalah mencari redha Allah..
objektif hidup kita adalah untuk dapat meninggalkan dunia ini secara baik-- husnul khatimah
prinsip hidup kita adalah untuk berbuat baik dan memberi manfaat..
Hidup indah bila sering memberi...
Ahad, 27 April 2014
Belajar Bahasa Inggeris
Fasih bahasa Inggeris
Saya punya bahasa Inggeris masih belum mencapai tahap yang saya inginkan.. hehe.. Tapi bolehlah..:-)
Samasa saya bersembang dengan Aisyah mengenai al-Quran dan tugasan menjadi pendakwah, saya sebut mengenai bahasa inggeris dan dia sangat teruja. Saya katakan,
"Aisyah nanti jadi hafizah ya. Umi always doakan my daughter akan jadi seorang yang hafal Quran. But not only hafaz, tapi juga beramal dengan isi al-Quran ya. "
Saya tambah lagi, "Aisyah dapat slang OZ, make sure you hold with it forever.. And nanti Aisyah becomes pendakwah like Imam Suhaib Webb.. teach people about Islam in english..Umi sangat proud dengan anak Umi ni..:
Dan dia bercerita satu demi satu dengan saya..tentang hasrat, cita-cita, dan cabaran menjadi remaja yang solehah sekarang ini. Kadang-kadang dia suka berstory, tapi kadang2 tak suka... anak remaja yang perlu didekati dengan cara yang tepat.
To Aisyah my darling, Umi doakan Aisyah selalu berjaya..dunia dan akhirat.. ameen.
--------------------
Di bawah adalah cara-cara untuk menjadi terer bahasa inggeris..
9. Learn about sentence stress. Sentence stress
refers to the word or words we stress in a phrase of a sentence. When we
stress a word, we help the listener understand what is important. If we
stress the wrong word or don’t stress the key word, the listener may
get confused or not realise what is important in the sentence. A few
years ago, I enrolled in a gym. I was asked to attend an introductory
class at ‘five to six‘. The Hungarian receptionist stressed the word ‘six‘
so I arrived at 5.55. She looked at me and told me that I was late and
the class had nearly finished. She should have stressed ‘five‘ and ‘six‘ so would have understood that the class lasted for one hour and began at 5pm! For more on sentence stress, read here.
Saya punya bahasa Inggeris masih belum mencapai tahap yang saya inginkan.. hehe.. Tapi bolehlah..:-)
Samasa saya bersembang dengan Aisyah mengenai al-Quran dan tugasan menjadi pendakwah, saya sebut mengenai bahasa inggeris dan dia sangat teruja. Saya katakan,
"Aisyah nanti jadi hafizah ya. Umi always doakan my daughter akan jadi seorang yang hafal Quran. But not only hafaz, tapi juga beramal dengan isi al-Quran ya. "
Saya tambah lagi, "Aisyah dapat slang OZ, make sure you hold with it forever.. And nanti Aisyah becomes pendakwah like Imam Suhaib Webb.. teach people about Islam in english..Umi sangat proud dengan anak Umi ni..:
Dan dia bercerita satu demi satu dengan saya..tentang hasrat, cita-cita, dan cabaran menjadi remaja yang solehah sekarang ini. Kadang-kadang dia suka berstory, tapi kadang2 tak suka... anak remaja yang perlu didekati dengan cara yang tepat.
To Aisyah my darling, Umi doakan Aisyah selalu berjaya..dunia dan akhirat.. ameen.
--------------------
Di bawah adalah cara-cara untuk menjadi terer bahasa inggeris..
33 ways to speak better English – without taking classes
If you’re reading this, I imagine you want to communicate with confidence and competence in English.
When we communicate effectively we are able to express our ideas and opinions, share experiences, and build relationships with others. When we struggle to express ourselves, we feel unvalued and insecure. As human beings, we want to participate in group discussions and have an impact on the society around us.
In the modern world, we communicate across borders. English is the closest thing we have to an international language.
By speaking better English, people all over the world can hear our voice. But, to speak better English, you need a teacher, don’t you? You need to take English classes, right?
Well, English teachers and English classes definitely help. But, studying English for a few hours a week may not improve your spoken English very much.
What you need is to become a self-directed learner, somebody who takes responsibility for their own learning and creates their own learning programme to develop their English.
Now, it’s certainly true that speaking is a social activity and is best done with other people. However, you could say the same about many activities. Leo Messi became a wonderful football player because he spent hours every day for many years practising by himself.
You can do the same with your English. Here are 33 ways to speak better English, without going to classes.
1. Record yourself speaking English. Listening to yourself can be strange at first but you get used to it. Listen to a recording of a fluent English speaker (a short audio file) and then record yourself repeating what they said. Compare the difference and try again. Humans are natural mimics so you will find yourself getting better and better. Soundcloud is an excellent tool for voice recording as you or your teacher can make notes about your errors.
2. Read aloud, especially dialogue. Reading aloud is not the same as speaking naturally. However, it is very useful for exercising the vocal muscles. Practise for 5 or 10 minutes a day and you will begin to notice which sounds are difficult for you to produce. Find transcripts of natural dialogues, such as these here, and practise acting them with a friend, you will also learn common phrases which we use when speaking.
3. Sing along to English songs while you’re driving or in the shower. The lyrics to pop songs are often conversational so you can learn lots of common expressions by listening to them. Humans are also able to remember words when used together with music which is why it is difficult to remember poems but easy to remember the words to songs. Here are some songs to get started with.
4. Watch short video clips and pause and repeat what you hear. YouTube is an amazing resource for language learners and you probably already have your favourite clips. My advice is to watch short clips and really study them. With longer videos, you may find your attention wanders. The key to improving by watching videos is to really listen carefully and use the pause button to focus on sounds and words. Many YouTube videos now have captions.
5. Learn vowel and consonant sounds in English. The Phonemic chart is a list of the different vowel and consonant sounds in English. Learning how to make these sounds and then using them to pronounce words correctly will really help you speak English clearly. This is a great resource from the British Council.
6. Learn and identify schwa. What is schwa you might be asking? Well, it’s the most common sound in English: Click here. We use it all the time in words like ‘teacher’ and ‘around’.
7. Learn about weak and strong forms of common words. When you know about the ‘schwa’ sound, you will listen to native speakers in a different way. English is a stress-timed language which means that we use a combination of strong and weak forms of some words. For example, which words do we stress in the following sentence?
I want to go for a drink tonight.
How do native speakers pronounce to / for / a in the sentence? We use the schwa sound so it sounds like:
I wanna go ferra drink tenigh.
Learn how and when to use weak forms and your speaking will improve overnight. You will also learn to focus on stressed words when listening to fast, native-speaker English and you will finally be able to understand us!
8. Learn about word stress. When words have more than one syllable, we stress one or more of them. For example, the word intelligent has four syllables but which syllable do we stress? Click here to find out. Remember that the small vertical mark above the word identifies the stressed syllable: /ɪnˈtel.ɪ.dʒənt/
9. Learn about sentence stress. Sentence stress
refers to the word or words we stress in a phrase of a sentence. When we
stress a word, we help the listener understand what is important. If we
stress the wrong word or don’t stress the key word, the listener may
get confused or not realise what is important in the sentence. A few
years ago, I enrolled in a gym. I was asked to attend an introductory
class at ‘five to six‘. The Hungarian receptionist stressed the word ‘six‘
so I arrived at 5.55. She looked at me and told me that I was late and
the class had nearly finished. She should have stressed ‘five‘ and ‘six‘ so would have understood that the class lasted for one hour and began at 5pm! For more on sentence stress, read here.
10. Identify fixed and semi-fixed phrases and practise them. Fixed phrases usually contain between 3 and 7 words and include items like:
to be honest
in a moment
on the other hand
A conversation is made of grammatical structures, vocabulary and fixed or semi-fixed phrases. In fact, to tell the truth , on the whole, most of the time, my friends and I , communicate with each other in a series of fixed and semi-fixed expressions.
Learn the communicative function of these phrases and practise how to pronounce them (remember weak forms, which words are stressed) and use them in your everyday conversation. Click here for a list of 1000 common phrases.
11. Learn about collocations. Words don’t like being alone. They prefer to hang out with their friends and, just like people, some words form close friendships and other never speak to each other.
Yellow doesn’t get on well with hair. Maybe yellow is jealous of blond because blond and hair are frequently seen out together having a great time. Yellow doesn’t understand why hair prefers blond because yellow and blond are so similar.
Listen carefully for common combinations of words. Short and small have similar meanings but people have short hair not small hair. High and tall are often not so different but people have high hopes but not tall hopes. Foxes are sly not devious. Hours can be happy but are never cheerful. Idiots are stupid but rarely silly.
12. Replace regular verbs with phrasal verbs. Many learners of English don’t understand why native speakers us so many phrasal verbs where there are normal verbs (usually with Latin roots) which have the same meaning. English was originally a Germanic language which imported lots of Latin vocabulary after the Norman conquest in the 11th century. Regardless of the historical factors, the fact is that native English speakers use lots and lots of phrasal verbs. If you want to understand us, then try to include them in your conversation. If you make a mistake, you’ll probably make us laugh but you are unlikely to confuse us as we can usually guess what you want to say from the context. Phrasal verbs are spatial and originally referred to movement so when you learn a new one, make physical movements while saying them to help you remember.
13. Learn short automatic responses. Many of our responses are automatic (Right, OK, no problem, alright, fine thanks, just a minute, you’re welcome, fine by me, let’s do it!, yup, no way! you’re joking, right?, Do I have to? etc.) Collect these short automatic responses and start using them.
14. Practise telling stories and using narrative tenses. Humans are designed to tell stories. We use the past simple, past continuous and past perfect for telling stories but when the listener is hooked (very interested), they feel like they are actually experiencing the story right now. So, we often use present tenses to make our stories more dramatic!
15. Learn when to pause for effect. Speaking quickly in English does not make you an effective English speaker. Knowing when to pause to give the listener time to think about what you have said, respond appropriately, and predict what you are going to say does. Imagine you an actor on a stage, pausing keeps people interested. Great strategy if you need to speak English in public.
16. Learn about chunking. Chunking means joining words together to make meaningful units. You don’t need to analyse every word to use a phrase. Look at the phrase: Nice to meet you. It is an example of ellipsis because the word ‘It’ is missing at the beginning of the phrase. However, we don’t need to include it. Learn more here.
17. Learn about typical pronunciation problems in your first language. Japanese learners find it difficult to identify and produce ‘r‘ and ‘l‘ sounds; Spanish don’t distinguish between ‘b‘ and ‘v‘; Germans often use a ‘v‘ sound when they should use a ‘w‘. Find out about the problems people who speak your first language have when speaking English and you will know what you need to focus on.
18. Choose an accent you like and imitate it. We often have an emotional connection with certain nationalities. Do you have more of an interest in British culture or American culture? Do you support Manchester United or Arsenal? Deciding what variety of English you want to learn is your first step.
19. Find an actor/actress you like and identify what makes them powerful speakers. Do you want to sound like Barack Obama, Benedict Cumberbatch (Sherlock Homes) Beyonce or Steve Jobs? If you want to sound like David Beckham, I advise you to reconsider, unless you want to sound like a young girl!
20. Use a mirror and / or a sheet of paper for identifying aspirated and non-aspirated sounds. Aspirated sounds are those with a short burst of here, such as ‘p‘ in ‘pen, and unaspirated sounds have no or little air, such as the ‘b‘ in ‘Ben‘. Watch this video to learn more.
21. Practise tongue twisters. Tongue twisters are phrases designed to improve your pronunciation of particular sounds. Here is a list for kids but it’s great fun. Have a go now.Try saying this phrase quickly:
What a terrible tongue twister. What a terrible tongue twister. What a terrible tongue twister.
22. Practise spelling names, numbers and dates aloud. This may seem very basic to some of you but if you don’t practise, you forget how to say them.Have a go here at numbers here and at place names here.
23. Learn about common intonation patterns. Intonation (when the pitch of the voice goes up and down) is complex in English but it is very important as it expresses the feeling or emotion of the speaker. Here is an amusing introduction to intonation.
24. Learn about places of articulation. The articulators are the parts of the mouth we use to turn sound into speech. They can be fixed parts (the teeth, behind the teeth and the roof of the mouth) and mobile parts (the tongue, the lips, the soft palate, and the jaw). Click here for more information.
25. After looking at places of articulation, practise making the movements that native speakers use when they speak. Here’s a video and remember to open the jaws, move the lips and get your tongue moving!
26. Learn why English is a stress-timed language. The rhythm of the language is based on stressed syllables so we shorten the unstressed syllables to fit the rhythm. Syllable-timed languages (such as Spanish) take the same time to pronounce each syllable. Here’s an explanation which might explain why you speak English like a robot or watch this funny clip here.
27. Learn how to interrupt and interject politely and successfully. Click here for a list of interrupting phrases.
28. Learn about ellipsis, assimilation and linking sounds.
29. Speak lower not higher. Studies show that you command attention and demonstrate authority with a deeper vocal tone, especially men. This is particularly important if you have to speak in public. Here is a quick guide.
30. Listen and read along to poetry (or rap songs) to practise the rhythm of English. Limericks (short, funny, rhyming poems) are really useful and demonstrate how English is stress-timed and how we use weak forms.
31. Learn exclamation words and fillers. Watch this video or study this list of 100 common exclamations here.
32. Learn how to paraphrase. Paraphrasing is when we repeat what we have just said to make it clear to the listener or when we repeat what the other person has said by using different words. Here are a few to get started.
33. Use contractions more. Contractions make your speech more efficient because they save time and energy. Say ‘should not’ and then say ‘shouldn’t’: which is easier to say?
Jumaat, 25 April 2014
Perkahwinan
Bila kita berkahwin, kita sebenarnya buat rumah...
Buatlah betul-betul...
Jika senget sana sini, kita perlu betulkan, bukan robohkan...
Baiki lagi dan lagi dan lagi....
Tapi bila senget dah keterlaluan, maka mungkin robohkan dia menjadi pilihan yang baik.
Maka berkahwinlah dengan ilmu di dada..
Carilah ilmu supaya apabila kita masuk dalam kotak perkahwinan, atau apabila kita membina rumah, kita bersedia dengan persediaan yang cukup. Bila tidak cukup, cari lagi dan lagi...
Rabu, 26 Mac 2014
Jika kita rasa stress
Baca ni dengan perasaan ceria.. ni main-main saja..:-)
Yang penting..
Jangan Stress..
Buatlah apa2 setakat kita mampu.. terbaik sehabis daya..
Lepas itu kita berserah pada Allah..
Dialah yang memutuskan segala perkara..
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