Sunday, April 27, 2014

Belajar Bahasa Inggeris

Fasih bahasa Inggeris

Saya punya bahasa Inggeris masih belum mencapai tahap yang saya inginkan.. hehe.. Tapi bolehlah..:-)

Samasa saya bersembang dengan Aisyah mengenai al-Quran dan tugasan menjadi pendakwah, saya sebut mengenai bahasa inggeris dan dia sangat teruja. Saya katakan,
"Aisyah nanti jadi hafizah ya. Umi always doakan my daughter akan jadi seorang yang hafal Quran. But not only hafaz, tapi juga beramal dengan isi al-Quran ya. "

Saya tambah lagi, "Aisyah dapat slang OZ, make sure you hold with it forever.. And  nanti Aisyah becomes pendakwah like Imam Suhaib Webb.. teach people about Islam in english..Umi sangat proud dengan anak Umi ni..:

Dan dia bercerita satu demi satu dengan saya..tentang hasrat, cita-cita, dan cabaran menjadi remaja yang solehah sekarang ini. Kadang-kadang dia suka berstory, tapi kadang2 tak suka... anak remaja yang perlu didekati dengan cara yang tepat.

To Aisyah my darling, Umi doakan Aisyah selalu berjaya..dunia dan akhirat.. ameen.

-------------------- 

Di bawah adalah cara-cara untuk menjadi terer bahasa inggeris..

33 ways to speak better English – without taking classes

If you’re reading this, I imagine you want to communicate with confidence and competence in English.

When we communicate effectively we are able to express our ideas and opinions, share experiences, and build relationships with others. When we struggle to express ourselves, we feel unvalued and insecure. As human beings, we want to participate in group discussions and have an impact on the society around us.

In the modern world, we communicate across borders. English is the closest thing we have to an international language.

By speaking better English, people all over the world can hear our voice. But, to speak better English, you need a teacher, don’t you? You need to take English classes, right?

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Well, English teachers and English classes definitely help. But, studying English for a few hours a week may not improve your spoken English very much.

What you need is to become a self-directed learner, somebody who takes responsibility for their own learning and creates their own learning programme to develop their English.

Now, it’s certainly true that speaking is a social activity and is best done with other people. However, you could say the same about many activities.  Leo Messi became a wonderful football player because he spent hours every day for many years practising by himself.

You can do the same with your English. Here are 33 ways to speak better English, without going to classes.

1. Record yourself speaking English. Listening to yourself can be strange at first but you get used to it. Listen to a recording of a fluent English speaker (a short audio file) and then record yourself repeating what they said. Compare the difference and try again. Humans are natural mimics so you will find yourself getting better and better. Soundcloud is an excellent tool for voice recording as you or your teacher can make notes about your errors.

2. Read aloud, especially dialogue. Reading aloud is not the same as speaking naturally. However, it is very useful for exercising the vocal muscles. Practise for 5 or 10 minutes a day and you will begin to notice which sounds are difficult for you to produce. Find transcripts of natural dialogues, such as these here, and practise acting them with a friend, you will also learn common phrases which we use when speaking.

3. Sing along to English songs while you’re driving or in the shower. The lyrics to pop songs are often conversational so you can learn lots of common expressions by listening to them. Humans are also able to remember words when used together with music which is why it is difficult to remember poems but easy to remember the words to songs. Here are some songs to get started with.

4. Watch short video clips and pause and repeat what you hear. YouTube is an amazing resource for language learners and you probably already have your favourite clips. My advice is to watch short clips and really study them. With longer videos, you may find your attention wanders. The key to improving by watching videos is to really listen carefully and use the pause button to focus on sounds and words. Many YouTube videos now have captions.

5. Learn vowel and consonant sounds in English. The Phonemic chart is a list of the different vowel and consonant sounds in English. Learning how to make these sounds and then using them to pronounce words correctly will really help you speak English clearly. This is a great resource from the British Council.

6. Learn and identify schwa. What is schwa you might be asking? Well, it’s the most common sound in English: Click here. We use it all the time in words like ‘teacher’ and ‘around’.

7. Learn about weak and strong forms of common words. When you know about the ‘schwa’ sound, you will listen to native speakers in a different way. English is a stress-timed language which means that we use a combination of strong and weak forms of some words. For example, which words do we stress in the following sentence?

I want to go for a drink tonight.

How do native speakers pronounce to / for / a in the sentence? We use the schwa sound so it sounds like:

I wanna go ferra drink tenigh.

Learn how and when to use weak forms and your speaking will improve overnight. You will also learn to focus on stressed words when listening to fast, native-speaker English and you will finally be able to understand us!

8. Learn about word stress. When words have more than one syllable, we stress one or more of them. For example, the word intelligent has four syllables but which syllable do we stress? Click here to find out. Remember that the small vertical mark above the word identifies the stressed syllable: /ɪnˈtel.ɪ.dʒənt/

9. Learn about sentence stress. Sentence stress refers to the word or words we stress in a phrase of a sentence. When we stress a word, we help the listener understand what is important. If we stress the wrong word or don’t stress the key word, the listener may get confused or not realise what is important in the sentence. A few years ago, I enrolled in a gym. I was asked to attend an introductory class at ‘five to six‘. The Hungarian receptionist stressed the word ‘six‘ so I arrived at 5.55. She looked at me and told me that I was late and the class had nearly finished. She should have stressed ‘five‘ and ‘six‘ so would have understood that the class lasted for one hour and began at 5pm! For more on sentence stress, read here.

10. Identify fixed and semi-fixed phrases and practise them. Fixed phrases usually contain between 3 and 7 words and include items like:

to be honest

in a moment

on the other hand

A conversation is made of grammatical structures, vocabulary and fixed or semi-fixed phrases. In fact, to tell the truth , on the whole, most of the time, my friends and I , communicate with each other in a series of fixed and semi-fixed expressions.

Learn the communicative function of these phrases and practise how to pronounce them (remember weak forms, which words are stressed) and use them in your everyday conversation. Click here for a list of 1000 common phrases.

11. Learn about collocations. Words don’t like being alone. They prefer to hang out with their friends and, just like people, some words form close friendships and other never speak to each other.

Yellow doesn’t get on well with hair. Maybe yellow is jealous of blond because blond and hair are frequently seen out together having a great time. Yellow doesn’t understand why hair prefers blond because yellow and blond are so similar.

Listen carefully for common combinations of words. Short and small have similar meanings but people have short hair not small hair. High and tall are often not so different but people have high hopes but not tall hopes. Foxes are sly not devious. Hours can be happy but are never cheerful. Idiots are stupid but rarely silly.

12. Replace regular verbs with phrasal verbs. Many learners of English don’t understand why native speakers us so many phrasal verbs where there are normal verbs (usually with Latin roots) which have the same meaning. English was originally a Germanic language which imported lots of Latin vocabulary after the Norman conquest in the 11th century. Regardless of the historical factors, the fact is that native English speakers use lots and lots of phrasal verbs. If you want to understand us, then try to include them in your conversation. If you make a mistake, you’ll probably make us laugh but you are unlikely to confuse us as we can usually guess what you want to say from the context. Phrasal verbs are spatial and originally referred to movement so when you learn a new one, make physical movements while saying them to help you remember.

13. Learn short automatic responses. Many of our responses are automatic (Right, OK, no problem, alright, fine thanks, just a minute, you’re welcome, fine by me, let’s do it!, yup, no way! you’re joking, right?, Do I have to? etc.) Collect these short automatic responses and start using them.

14. Practise telling stories and using narrative tenses. Humans are designed to tell stories. We use the past simple, past continuous and past perfect for telling stories but when the listener is hooked (very interested), they feel like they are actually experiencing the story right now. So, we often use present tenses to make our stories more dramatic!

15. Learn when to pause for effect. Speaking quickly in English does not make you an effective English speaker. Knowing when to pause to give the listener time to think about what you have said, respond appropriately, and predict what you are going to say does. Imagine you an actor on a stage, pausing keeps people interested. Great strategy if you need to speak English in public.

16. Learn about chunking. Chunking means joining words together to make meaningful units. You don’t need to analyse every word to use a phrase. Look at the phrase: Nice to meet you. It is an example of ellipsis because the word ‘It’ is missing at the beginning of the phrase. However, we don’t need to include it.  Learn more here.

17. Learn about typical pronunciation problems in your first language. Japanese learners find it difficult to identify and produce ‘r‘ and ‘l‘ sounds; Spanish don’t distinguish between ‘b‘ and ‘v‘; Germans often use a ‘v‘ sound when they should use a ‘w‘. Find out about the problems people who speak your first language have when speaking English and you will know what you need to focus on.

18. Choose an accent you like and imitate it. We often have an emotional connection with certain nationalities. Do you have more of an interest in British culture or American culture? Do you support Manchester United or Arsenal?  Deciding what variety of English you want to learn is your first step.

19. Find an actor/actress you like and identify what makes them powerful speakers. Do you want to sound like Barack Obama, Benedict Cumberbatch (Sherlock Homes) Beyonce or Steve Jobs? If you want to sound like David Beckham, I advise you to reconsider, unless you want to sound like a young girl!

20. Use a mirror and / or a sheet of paper for identifying aspirated and non-aspirated sounds. Aspirated sounds are those with a short burst of here, such as ‘p‘ in ‘pen, and unaspirated sounds have no or little air, such as the ‘b‘ in ‘Ben‘. Watch this video to learn more.

21. Practise tongue twisters. Tongue twisters are phrases designed to improve your pronunciation of particular sounds. Here is a list for kids but it’s great fun.  Have a go now.Try saying this phrase quickly:

What a terrible tongue twister. What a terrible tongue twister. What a terrible tongue twister.

22. Practise spelling names, numbers and dates aloud. This may seem very basic to some of you but if you don’t practise, you forget how to say them.Have a go here at numbers here and at place names here.

23. Learn about common intonation patterns. Intonation (when the pitch of the voice goes up and down) is complex in English but it is very important as it expresses the feeling or emotion of the speaker. Here is an amusing introduction to intonation.

24. Learn about places of articulation. The articulators are the parts of the mouth we use to turn sound into speech. They can be fixed parts (the teeth, behind the teeth and the roof of the mouth) and mobile parts (the tongue, the lips, the soft palate, and the jaw). Click here for more information.

25. After looking at places of articulation, practise making the movements that native speakers use when they speak. Here’s a video and remember to open the jaws, move the lips and get your tongue moving!

26. Learn why English is a stress-timed language. The rhythm of the language is based on stressed syllables so we shorten the unstressed syllables to fit the rhythm. Syllable-timed languages (such as Spanish) take the same time to pronounce each syllable. Here’s an explanation which might explain why you speak English like a robot or watch this funny clip here.

27. Learn how to interrupt and interject politely and successfully. Click here for a list of interrupting phrases.

28. Learn about ellipsis, assimilation and linking sounds.

29. Speak lower not higher. Studies show that you command attention and demonstrate authority with a deeper vocal tone, especially men. This is particularly important if you have to speak in public. Here is a quick guide.

30. Listen and read along to poetry (or rap songs) to practise the rhythm of English. Limericks (short, funny, rhyming poems) are really useful and demonstrate how English is stress-timed and how we use weak forms.

31. Learn exclamation words and fillers. Watch this video or study this list of 100 common exclamations here.

32. Learn how to paraphrase. Paraphrasing is when we repeat what we have just said to make it clear to the listener or when we repeat what the other person has said by using different words. Here are a few to get started.

33. Use contractions more. Contractions make your speech more efficient because they save time and energy. Say ‘should not’ and then say ‘shouldn’t’: which is easier to say?


Friday, April 25, 2014

Perkahwinan






 
Bila kita berkahwin, kita sebenarnya buat rumah...
Buatlah betul-betul...
Jika senget sana sini, kita perlu betulkan, bukan robohkan...
Baiki lagi dan lagi dan lagi....
Tapi bila senget dah keterlaluan, maka mungkin robohkan dia menjadi pilihan yang baik.
 

 
 Kalau tak dibetulkan.... mungkin bocor sikit menjadi sangat besar sehingga merosakkan bahagian lain...

Maka berkahwinlah dengan ilmu di dada..
Carilah ilmu supaya apabila kita masuk dalam kotak perkahwinan, atau apabila kita membina rumah, kita bersedia dengan persediaan yang cukup. Bila tidak cukup, cari lagi dan lagi...


Erti perkahwinan..

Perkahwinan..

Artikel ini disiarkan dalam Berita Harian Khamis 24 April 2014 semalam. Saya kena siapkan dua hari sebelum diterbitkan. Jadi setiap petang Selasa saya akan berusaha menyiapkan dan mengirimkan kepada Editornya, Puan Liza.

Pn Liza ni seorang Editor yang bagus. Ada banyak juga dia edit kerja saya ni..:-)

Semoga kita bersyukur dengan rezeki kita dapat berkahwin, ada pasangan dan keluarga.. Semoga kita dapat berusaha menjaga kebahagiaan yang ada dan selalu meminta keberkatan Allah ke atas seluruh ahli keluarga kita.. ameen..

Thursday, April 24, 2014

Motivation

Menjadi orang yang hebat..

Saya ada membeli koleksi  syarahan Prof Muhaya yang telah didownload oleh seseorang.. Dalamnya terdapat semua ceramah beliau yang disiarkan di radio ikim semenjak tahun 2010. Daripada USB saya transfer ke CD dan menjadikan bahan pelajaran saya sepanjang saya berada dalam kereta.
Saya belajar banyak dari perbahasan beliau dan saya secara peribadi kagum sungguh saya dengan dia.
semoga saya juga berjaya mencontohi beliau dan orang-orang lain yang berjaya .. ameen..

Yang ini pula adalah daripada internet.

http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/15-things-highly-confident-people-dont.html

Highly confident people believe in their ability to achieve. If you don’t believe in yourself, why should anyone else put their faith in you? To walk with swagger and improve your self-confidence, watch out for these fifteen things highly confident people don’t do.

1. They don’t make excuses.

Highly confident people take ownership of their thoughts and actions. They don’t blame the traffic for being tardy at work; they were late. They don’t excuse their short-comings with excuses like “I don’t have the time” or “I’m just not good enough”; they make the time and they keep on improving until they are good enough.

2. They don’t avoid doing the scary thing.

Highly confident people don’t let fear dominate their lives. They know that the things they are afraid of doing are often the very same things that they need to do in order to evolve into the person they are meant to be.

3. They don’t live in a bubble of comfort.

Highly confident people avoid the comfort zone, because they know this is a place where dreams die. They actively pursue a feeling of discomfort, because they know stretching themselves is mandatory for their success.

4. They don’t put things off until next week.

Highly confident people know that a good plan executed today is better than a great plan executed someday. They don’t wait for the “right time” or the “right circumstances”, because they know these reactions are based on a fear of change. They take action here, now, today – because that’s where progress happens.

5. They don’t obsess over the opinions of others.

Highly confident people don’t get caught up in negative feedback. While they do care about the well-being of others and aim to make a positive impact in the world, they don’t get caught up in negative opinions that they can’t do anything about. They know that their true friends will accept them as they are, and they don’t concern themselves with the rest.

6. They don’t judge people.

Highly confident people have no tolerance for unnecessary, self-inflicted drama. They don’t feel the need to insult friends behind their backs, participate in gossip about fellow co-workers or lash out at folks with different opinions. They are so comfortable in who they are that they feel no need to look down on other people.

7. They don’t let lack of resources stop them.

Highly confident people can make use of whatever resources they have, no matter how big or small. They know that all things are possible with creativity and a refusal to quit. They don’t agonize over setbacks, but rather focus on finding a solution.

8. They don’t make comparisons.

Highly confident people know that they are not competing with any other person. They compete with no other individual except the person they were yesterday. They know that every person is living a story so unique that drawing comparisons would be an absurd and simplistic exercise in futility.

9. They don’t find joy in people-pleasing.

Highly confident people have no interest in pleasing every person they meet. They are aware that not all people get along, and that’s just how life works. They focus on the quality of their relationships, instead of the quantity of them.

10. They don’t need constant reassurance.

Highly confident people aren’t in need of hand-holding. They know that life isn’t fair and things won’t always go their way. While they can’t control every event in their life, they focus on their power to react in a positive way that moves them forward.

11. They don’t avoid life’s inconvenient truths.

Highly confident people confront life’s issues at the root before the disease can spread any farther. They know that problems left unaddressed have a way of multiplying as the days, weeks and months go by. They would rather have an uncomfortable conversation with their partner today than sweep an inconvenient truth under the rug, putting trust at risk.

12. They don’t quit because of minor set-backs.

Highly confident people get back up every time they fall down. They know that failure is an unavoidable part of the growth process. They are like a detective, searching for clues that reveal why this approach didn’t work. After modifying their plan, they try again (but better this time).

13. They don’t require anyone’s permission to act.

Highly confident people take action without hesitation. Every day, they remind themselves, “If not me, who?”

14. They don’t limit themselves to a small toolbox.

Highly confident people don’t limit themselves to Plan A. They make use of any and all weapons that are at their disposal, relentlessly testing the effectiveness of every approach, until they identify the strategies that offer the most results for the least cost in time and effort.

15. They don’t blindly accept what they read on the Internet as “truth” without thinking about it.

Highly confident people don’t accept articles on the Internet as truth just because some author “said so”. They look at every how-to article from the lens of their unique perspective. They maintain a healthy skepticism, making use of any material that is relevant to their lives, and forgetting about the rest. While articles like this are a fun and interesting thought-exercise, highly confident people know that they are the only person with the power to decide what “confidence” means.

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Kenangan..

Kenangan silam.. di Uni Melbourne

Tadi, tetiba saya teringatkan Melbourne dan kenangan saya di sana..
Saya mengambil keputusan menulis sesuatu dalam facebook Doctorate Group..

Inilah tulisan saya...

" Salam, saya sekadar ingin memberi sedikit kata-kata perangsang kepada rakan2 yang sedang menyiapkan PhD..(walaupun tak kenal saya..:-)

Semasa saya sedang berusaha sehabis daya pada akhir tahun 2012 yang lepas (jadual balik ke Malaysia pada 1/12/12). Dua tiga bulan sebelum tarikh akhir untuk submit, saya tidur hanya 3-4 jam sehari. Ketika itu saya di Melbourne Uni dan perlu berjumpa Supervisor kadang-kadang dua atau tiga kali dalam seminggu. Kelam kabut hanya ALlah yang tahu. Dan saya rasa terlalu banyak untuk dibuat sebelum tesis berjaya menjadi sebuah tesis.

Supervisor saya yang baik, namanya Prof Tim Lindsey, setiap kali berjumpa selalu mulakan dengan tanya khabar cara ceria...

Dalam catatan saya...saya ada tulis sebegini...(yang harapnya memberi sedikit motivasi untuk rakan2 semua....)

Saya panggil dia Pak Tim, kerana dia pandai cakap Indonesia.

Pak Tim tanya saya semalam,"Hidayah, tell me about your health?"
Saya jawab.."haaaa..what do you mean Pak?"
Dia kata, "Just answer, bad or worse.."
Saya jawab.."I think worse.."

Dan Pak Tim ketawa.."Ok.. it is a good sign. Itu maknanya kamu sedang membuat PhD. Jika kami ok saja, and sleep 8 hours a day, you won't get your PhD. PhD itu kesukaran, keletihan, kesusahan.. no pain no gain.."

"ooo.. baik Pak... Thank you Pak.. I want to continue my work, be in the gubuk derita seorang pelajar PhD..."


---Kpd rakan-rakan yang sedang belajar, Teruslah berjuang... kerana pahala Allah untuk orang yang mencari ilmu adalah sangat besar. Dan niatlah selalu dalam hati.. Ilmu yang saya cari ini adalah untuk saya curahkan kembali kepada masyarakat .. Kerana ALlah untuk umat manusia...ameen

-Hidayah



Thursday, April 3, 2014

Pengajaran dari Kes Sweden

Artikel 
Artikel ini disiarkan dalam Berita Harian pada 3 April 2014 (Khamis) ruanga Agama. Saya ingin mengutarakan pendapat saya atau analisis yang saya buat terhadap kes pasangan Malaysia di Sweden ini. Saya berdoa agar kedua mereka tabah dalam menghadapi hukuman penjara di sana, dapat memikir kembali tentag hubungan kekeluargaan antara mereka dan anak-anak, dapat memaafkan anak-anak mereka.. serta yang penting dapat juga meminta maaf dariapda anak-anak mereka. Kepada anak-anak mereka, saya mendoakan agar agar mereka tabah, dapat memafkan ibu bapa mereka, dapat memikirkan tentang kasih sayang ibu bapa mereka yang pernah diberikan dan semoga mereka semua akan kembali membina hubungan kekeluargaan yang lebih baik apabila bergabung nanti.. ameen..

_____________________________
 
Tajuk di Berita Harian   PENDIDIKAN HARUS BERASASKAN KASIH SAYANG..
Oleh: Dr Nurhidayah Hashim
 
Kes sepasang rakyat Malaysia yang ditahan di Sweden atas dakwaan melakukan penderaan dan pencabulan kepada integiriti anak mereka menerima liputan meluas di negara kita. Kes ini menarik perhatian rakyat Malaysia kerana ia melibatkan kaedah mendidik yang dianggap hak ibu bapa untuk mendisiplinkan anak-anak mereka.
Sedangkan di Sweden, perlindungan daripada dipukul dan dilayan secara tidak wajar adalah satu perkara besar yang diperuntukkan dalam undang-undang kanak-kanak mereka. Mahkamah  yang membicarakan kes ini telah mensabitkan hukuman bersalah,  ibu tersebut  telah dijatuhkan hukuman penjara 14 bulan manakala ayah mereka dikenakan 10 bulan penjara.
Perkembangan dan penghakiman kes ini menjadi bahan perbincangan di internet dan laman-laman sosial. Berdasarkan maklumbalas yang diberi, saya rangkumkan terdapat tiga pendapat diberikan oleh orang ramai. Pertama, mereka menyalahkan undang-undang Sweden yang dianggap terlalu tegas sehingga menolak kuasa ibu bapa mendidik anak-anak mereka. Mereka berpendapat memukul anak-anak adalah perkara biasa dalam kaedah pendidikan orang Melayu dan orang Islam. Justeru, kes ini seolah-olah mencabar orang Islam dan orang Melayu dalam mendisiplinkan anak-anak mereka.
Kedua, mereka menyalahkan ibu bapa tersebut kerana terlalu keras dalam mendisiplinkan anak-anak mereka. Pendekatan garang, pukulan menggunakan tangan, rotan dan tali pinggang dilihat sebagai kaedah mendidik yang diamalkan sehingga menyebabkan anak-anak memberontak. Anak-anak gagal memahami kenapa mereka dihukum.
Ketiga, mereka menyalahkan anak-anak tersebut kerana membuat laporan sehingga ibu bapa mereka dibicarakan. Anak-anak tersebut dikatakan  bukan anak yang baik, tidak menyayangi ibu bapa mereka dan tidak menghargai nikmat yang ibu bapa mereka berikan. Bahkan ada penulis yang membandingkan anak-anak tersebut dengan pengalaman mereka semasa kecil, di mana mereka dahulu dirotan setiap hari, diketuk kepala ke dinding dan diikat di tiang tetapi tidak membantah. Apa sahaja bentuk  hukuman dibuat oleh ibu bapa seharusnya diterima dengan terbuka oleh anak-anak kerana itu adalah tanda anak yang taat kepada ibu bapa mereka.
Kes ini sebenarnya wajar dilihat sebagai pencetus kepada penambahbaikan dalam masyarakat kita dalam urusan melibatkan kebajikan anak-anak, termasuklah tindakan yang diambil oleh ibu bapa, guru-guru dan penggubal undang-undang.  
Dari sudut agama, anak-anak adalah amanah Allah kepada ibu bapa untuk dididik dan dijaga sehingga mereka mampu menjadi khalifah yang baik di muka bumi. Anak-anak bukan hak ibu bapa, tetapi mereka mempunyai hak untuk mendapat perlindungan dan layanan yang baik.
Sememangnya Nabi Muhammad SAW ada membenarkan pukulan kerana meninggalkan solat, tetapi ia adalah tindakan alternatif paling akhir dalam mendidik mereka. Itupun tertakluk kepada keberatan (weight) kesalahan yang dilakukan, dan juga haruslah selepas mereka berumur 10 tahun ke atas. Pukulan itu bukan dengan kuat penuh emosi marah,  tetapi pukulan ringan bertujuan untuk mendidik. Anak-anak juga hendaklah dijelaskan kesalahan mereka supaya mereka faham kenapa mereka dihukum.
Pendekatan kasih sayang adalah prinsip asas pendidikan Nabi SAW. Pendakwah Australia, Sheikh Yahya Ibrahim dalam satu ceramahnya pernah menegur pendekatan garang dan keras segelintir ibu bapa dan guru-guru yang sering mendenda dan merotan, dengan mencabar mereka membawa hadith yang menunjukkan Rasul mendekati kanak-kanak dengan pendekatan begitu. Tidak ada satu pun. Bahkan yang ada Rasululullah memuji, menegur, membina kasih sayang  sehingga kanak-kanak mencintai Baginda dan akhirnya turut mencintai ajaran agama yang Baginda bawa. Inilah yang berlaku kepada Abdullah bin Abbas dan Abdullah bin Umar yang masih muda remaja ketika itu.
Ini juga menjadi bahan utama pendekatan pakar motivasi terkenal di negara ini, Profesor Dr Muhaya Muhamad dalam ceramah keibu bapaan yang beliau kendalikan. Anak yang dididik dengan keras akan mengulangi dan menggunakan pendekatan keras di masa depan. Kajian banyak menunjukkan anak yang dilayan dengan keras, diherdik dan dihina akan rendah nilai dirinya dan akan bertindak serupa apabila mereka besar kelak. Pendekatan Nabi ini turut dikupas dengan panjang lebar oleh ramai pendakwah mengenai bagaimana kasih sayang adalah prinsip asas dalam pendidikan yang diajarkan Rasulullah. Kes ini seharusnya membuka mata ibu bapa untuk mendalami cara pendidikan Nabi dan mempraktikkan yang tepat dalam mendidik zuriat mereka.
Apabila melihat kepada pendekatan Sweden dan negara-negara lain, kita juga perlu melihat kembali bagaimana undang-undang negara kita mendekati isu penderaan ini. Alasan negara-negara tersebut pada hakikatnya adalah untuk menjaga kebajikan anak-anak daripada menjadi mangsa layanan yang tidak munasabah. Apatah lagi kanak-kanak yang mentalnya belum matang, tidak tahu untuk bertindak balas. Justeru, mereka sangat tegas dalam menilai erti penderaan. Penderaan bukan sahaja apabila patah tangan atau tanda seterika panas di badan kanak-kanak, tetapi juga melibatkan emosi kanak-kanak. Apabila seorang anak berubah menjadi pendiam, berada dalam dunia mereka sendiri, memberontak, berubah tingkah laku, maka ia juga adalah penderaan. Walaupun tidak bermakna Malaysia menerima secara total undang-undang mereka, tetapi wajar untuk kita melihat kembali dan menambah baik apa yang kurang untuk kebaikan kanak-kanak di negara ini.
Kita juga tidak wajar  menyebut perkataan menghina sebagai anak  tidak mengenang budi dan sebagainya kepada anak-anak tersebut kerana mereka adalah di bawah umur dan tidak boleh dikaitkan dengan kesalahan. Kita sepatutnya memberi sokongan kepada mereka supaya dapat menghadapi ujian ini, tidak trauma dan bukan menambah tekanan yang telah sedia ada. Jika masyarakat menghina, tindakan itu sebenarnya adalah sebahagian dari penderaan pula kepada mereka.

Adalah sangat diharapkan agar apabila keluarga ini bergabung kelak, ibu bapa dan anak-anak diberi bantuan psikologi untuk saling memaafkan dan membina kembali hubungan kekeluargaan yang ada. Adalah tidak mustahil dengan pandangan positif dan dokongan semua, keadaan akan menjadi lebih baik untuk mereka, dan seluruh ahli masyarakat kita umumnya. Kes ini mempunyai banyak hikmah yang tersirat.
 
*Penulis adalah Prof Madya di Akademi Pengajian Islam Kontemporari (ACIS), UiTM Shah Alam.